Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Broken Hearted

"I really love you,
and I'm sorry
it has to end this way"

Those are the last words she said to me before she hung up the phone. It's officially ended. I'm really sorry too it ended this way. Neither both of us wanted it but it happened. All I can do now is wept while trying to hold myself together and try to move on, although I doubt I can do it. At least not this soon.

All those memories, all those songs, all those places and events and foods and drinks and games and stuffs we did together. Now that I think about it again, my tears are rolling down even when I didn't want them to. All the hardships and obstacles we went through together. The ring and the promise, I always wanted you to be my lovely wife and the mother of our children. I really hurt you and still you wish to be together with me.

To me you'll always be my lovely hunny bala bala. No other will be able to fill that place in my heart. Will we be together again in the future? I can't say for sure. The thoughts of hurting you over and over again still haunt me until now. Even if I really changed for you, I just don't have the confidence anymore that I can make you happy.

I don't want to say goodbye to you. I don't ever want to say that. All I want to say now is until we meet again. Hopefully you'll stay healthy all the time, find a better job which you liked best and near your house, happy with the games you'll play, and most of all, hope you'll find someone who's a lot better than me. Someone who'll love you even more than I do, who'll cherish you even more than I do, and can make you really happy, unlike me.

Listening to the songs that I learned to sing to you, the tears again flowed and I can't stop it. Well, I didn't even intend to. I'm sad, lost and broken apart. How I wish to sing to you again. I really love you and I hope someday you'll be able to forgive me for all the things I've done to you.

Starting from this point, Lover's Note is no more as I no longer a lover anymore. And I also would like to say that I don't know when I'll be back to this blog again. The memories are just too painful for me. I'll be back when I'm ready. This blog will be abandoned once again until further notice. Sorry guys. Guess that's all. Thanks for reading up until here and until we meet again.

P.S. : For the last time, I really really really love you and I really mean it from the bottom of my heart.

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