And Again

These few days i can hardly focus myself. Irwan once said that i need to learn to become a professional. i got to separate my work problems and life problems. i think that's so true because now i'm about two weeks behind schedule. guess after all this time, i'm still not matured yet. maybe i'm still child, that knows only fun and doesn't care about problems. I want to change myself.. i know it's hard, but it's possible. i want to be mature. i must be mature. i'm sick and tired of people treating me as a nobody. but first i must finish this problem that dwells inside my head.

I really wanted to scream right now. this heart ache is just too much. I want to be somebody!!! time to learn how to kill useless feelings.. get ready for the new me!!!

Do You Know?

Sitting here alone in the middle of the crowd
Trying to take my mind away from you
But the memories just won't go away
And the more I try to lose it, the more they came back

Being the big fool I always be
Thinking about all the things that's so you
The way you do things, the way you act
The way you talk, laugh or simply smile

The kiss that night
So brief yet ever-lasting
So mild yet powerful
Unforgettable and Undoable

Being without you is not the end of the world
It's just another sad story being told again
Same heart but different wound
A wound that doesn't bleed, but hurts the most

Do you know?
This is made especially for you
If you feel the same way
I thank you from the bottom of my heart

Then again, if you don't
I thank you anyway for the experience i got
Happiness or sadness
Does it matter anyway?

Now as the night approach I bid you all farewell
And return to my den of nothingness
Where I sit quietly
While darkness spread all over me

April's Here...

Wow.. been almost a year since that faithful day but somehow it went slowly and a lot happened since then. don't really know what might happened if I ended up with another decision that night. all I know is that in one week I'll be back a free man once more with nothing to worry about.

Anyway, last Saturday I went to clubbing with some friends. since it's like ages from my last clubbing, i really enjoyed myself that night. first we went to f.bar at EX and stayed there for a while to listen to some live music while enjoying my whisky (or is it whiskey?) cola. later on, we went to Manna Room (or is it Manna Lounge? or Manna House? nah what the heck..) and there i spent my worst fifty thousand. the place sucks big time with lots of ABGs around and progressive techno house music (i don't even know what that means..) and after finishing our drinks, we got out A.S.A.P. and after that we went straight to X lounge at Semanggi where we stayed until around 4 A.M. and went back home. some of my friends went back earlier though. got some sleep at my friends place and then went to EX at noon to meet a friend. stayed there until 3 and went back home with hope to sleep. alas, i got home finding there are already a lot of people there at my room. finally i played Tekken 5 with them and got my sleep at around 10. can't really sleep coz there are some thoughts at my mind i just can't get rid of. but those are nice thoughts so i guess it's okay.

And today i arrived at office to start a brand new week of working. maybe i'll stay here until friday again? who knows.. all i know is that my job needs to be done A.S.A.P. or something nasty will happen. so i'll excuse myself and get back to work. see you in the next post, which i hope will be soon.